Nostalgia and Perception of Reality

Here in Canada we made a new friend, and in this text I will call him Vlado. Vlado is now Canadian, but was born in Serbia. He came to Canada when he was 9 years old, accompanied by his mother, as refugees from the war. Refugees normally do not have the freedom to choose the province where they would like to live, so Vlado and his mother ended up in Saskatchewan, a very isolated and very cold Canadian province. Blond and with light eyes, they suffered prejudice, because in Saskatchewan the majority of the population is made up of indigenous groups (the so-called “First Nations”). After a few years in Saskatchewan they were able to move, and they chose Ontario as their new province. Today Vlado is over 30 years old, married and has 2 daughters. Vlado’s wife, who I will call Aleksandra, was born in Bosnia and also came to Canada as a refugee from the same war, when she was about 10 years old. Vlado and his wife are very friendly, warmer and more welcoming than the Canadians we have met so far, almost like Brazilians. A few weeks ago, my husband and I went out to dinner with Vlado and Aleksandra. After hours of conversation, it became clear that they don’t like living in Canada very much. They complain about several things, such as the weather (a complaint that I share) and the unoriginal construction style (“all the houses and buildings look the same,” they say. I agree, but maybe it’s more a necessity than a “style,” considering that there are few months when the weather allows this type of work). At a certain point during our dinner, Vlado and Aleksandra decide to tell us that they want to live in Serbia with their two young daughters next year. In their opinion, it’s a better place to live. I’m stunned by the news, at first, thinking about the free and quality health care and education that their daughters (and they) have access to in Canada. I think about the possibility of their children growing up speaking English at school, being fluent, and about the opportunities that a Canadian child would have in the future, considering college and the job market. I don’t know much about Serbia or Eastern European countries. The little I do know is that they are places with a weak economy and a lot of corruption. But Vlado and Aleksandra are convinced that it is a great plan, even though their memories are from when they were little. Why is that? They probably grew up hearing stories from their parents about things being better there than here. But these nostalgic stories often only include the good side. When I miss Brazil, I think about the climate, the sweet and fresh fruits, the nature and the moments with friends and family. The bad things don’t make us miss them, so we tend not to think about them so much. I hope Vlado and his wife also consider the problems before moving for good. But if they don’t, I hope they are open to going back if that’s the case. More than anything,I hope they are right and that their home country is indeed what they dream of and not a nostalgic abstraction of their parents.